This is not specific to my fella. Though it's a thing I go through with him regularly, I feel like I have this constant experience in every relationship, and others do, and I probably inspire this in some people.
How come when my partner seems depressed, he seems annoyed with EVERYTHING I do? Am I really annoying him? What if it's not depression? What if I'm just annoying him?
This comes up a lot. Either he IS depressed and I shouldn't take the annoyance seriously, or I AM annoying him and he is not feeling particularly depressed, but I can never tell which one. Then if I bring it up and it's option 1, I seem self absorbed. If I bring it up and it's option 2, he usually seems annoyed that I don't know why he is annoyed.
It's like the one thing where in either case, talking it out does nothing. Why must my car be broken? Magical option 3 (go away all day and give him space) doesn't work with a broken car in a far flung snowy suburb with shitty means of non-car transport.
Sigh.